As a psychologist finishing her degree and almost ready to begin practicing, I get so many requests from parents, friends and friends of friends to help them with the stresses and problems they face in everyday life, that I often find it difficult to get on Face Book or go through my emails without getting side-tracked. I got to thinking, if this many of my friends feel the need to have advice, just a few minutes or maybe a few hours to help them, then there surely are many others out there with the same need. I'm not talking about those who need to see a therapist on a weekly basis, or even every other week for counseling, but just someone to help them over a rough spot, to listen when they have a tough situation a work or with their child. Maybe they've had an argument with their husband or wife and don't know how to say they are sorry, or ask for an apology because their feelings are hurt, but this is important! These little issues are like firecrackers...that is the analogy I like to use regarding these things. If you light a firecracker, you get a little 'pop'. Set off safely, it does no harm, makes a bit of noise, but no one gets hurt and life goes on just fine. But you start saving up those firecrackers, putting them all in a box, one after another, not setting them off, they start making a rather big pile. One day, when you do decide that you've had enough and you light one, it's not going to off with a small pop, it's going to explode like a piece of dynamite and blow up something terrible, and do a lot of damage. Maybe that thing that made you finally light that firecracker wasn't that important, but you had all that firepower built up, just waiting to explode, and the person you unleashed that on most likely had no clue that was coming, maybe you had no clue it was even there! And after it is all over, you feel guilty and ashamed because you handled things badly and hurt people who didn't deserve it.
My goal here is to help you learn to recognize what your stressors or 'firecrackers' are, and to help you learn to deal with them in a safe, healthy way. It's not easy, there is no magic formula, no magic potion or pill you can take. It's about learning and work. I can't do it for you, I can only advise you which way may work better than the one you are using now.
Hang tight though, and I'll do my best and we'll give this a shot! I'm here, waiting for your questions!
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